today my tiny baby is seven weeks old!
today is a gray and rainy one, and it feels like summer is really leaving.
but today was the perfect morning to wake up slowly and lay in bed and snuggle.
then, today, as i was rocking my girl back to sleep for her nap, i thought a little about my life over the past 10 years.
i thought about when i met steven at age 15, and how i wondered if there was even a chance we would end up together one day… knowing how extremely far away “one day” was.
i thought about this one night my sophomore year of college… i was lying in bed in my dorm room, trying to really clearly picture myself actually walking down the aisle in a white dress with steven at the other end, but it seemed so huge and crazy and hard to imagine.
i thought about another evening in college, i was sitting next to steven and we were watching bill cosby’s standup stuff on dvd or something, and suddenly i just thought to myself, “whoa, i’m in college right now, just sitting next to my boyfriend, watching bill cosby, and one day we’ll be married and have kids together and that is just tooooo weeeeird!” i don’t know why, but it just hit me right then, and it was kind of exciting. also, i was wearing my favorite red hoodie and my favorite true religion jeans. i remember that, too.
and then i thought about the fact that i was sitting there, rocking my 7 week old baby in a rocking chair that my grandmother rocked my mother in and my mother rocked me in. now my dear grandmother, whose 76th birthday is coming up next week, is living with alzheimers in a nursing facility without even a clue that this new life is beginning here in that same old chair. cra-zy. bittersweet. could life go any faster?
i feel like i can hardly keep up, but these last 7 weeks have been the best and sweetest imaginable. and saying that, to me, sounds like such a lie that new moms tell themselves when they look and feel like crap and you’re just like “suuuure, you look terrible and i’m never having kids,” but it really is true! maddalena is pure joy. [and for the record, i haven’t really felt like crap at all, although, without my makeup lately i kind of look like i sell crack on the streets! but hey, that’s alright.]
i would be lying if i said i hadn’t for one tiny second just slightly missed the reckless abandon of the high school years, or the carefree college life, or the freshness of being newlyweds, or the freedom of just being married and comfortable… but those days just aren’t meant to last and who would want them to? now, with maddalena, every old experience is new all over again… and there is never a dull moment in our house these days, which is fabulous because i hate dull moments.
on another note, i hadn’t had coffee in two whole months until yesterday, and i’m having some again today! oh, am i happy to be reunited. and just in time to grab myself a seasonally appropriate latte from starbucks here pretty soon! good stuff, this coffee. and good stuff, this life.
I love it. Life is so fleeting, and it is easy to forget sometimes.
britt… this is so emotional and nostalgic. beautiful beautiful beautiful.
i think you both look gorgeous. it's good to hear that you are feeling well and enjoying this time 🙂 mark and i started dating when i was 14! yeah for HS sweethearts 🙂
this is such a beautiful wonderful post and absolutely made me choke up. life really is so crazy. and thinking back on what we thought our life would be and what it's turning out to be really is so strange
I think it's so amazing your love story.
Your joyfullness is contagious .
I wish we lived close enough to be friends in real life.
That's wonderful. 🙂 I'm assuming she's a decent sleeper then? I was a zombie the first month last year. I was always sooo tired and I also got some baby blues. I'm hoping it will be better this November and the fatigue and baby blues won't hit so hard.
isnt it so crazy the things we remember?! I remember all these random outfits I wore to different things so im with you on that girlfriend! And Im in the stage where it seems like babies and marriage are forever away so hopefully itll happen sooner rather than later and Ill be thinking the same things as you 🙂 and your baby is just presh! what a little cutie she is
Beautiful post. xox
She is seriously so cute! I am expecting my first baby girl soon and when I saw Maddalena's name, I was obsessed! Unfortunately, my fiance isn't crazy about it but I'm going to keep pushing for it;)
Congrats on being a new mommy, you make such a pretty one!
Xoxo,
Sara
Lovely post & pictures.
I loved this post so, so much. It made my heart pound and brought tears to my eyes. Life is crazy. Life is fast. Life is incredible.
Sometimes, I feel like I can't wait to have babies. Corey and I are so ready. But then other times I am SO thankful that it's just us two – enjoying this incredible adventure we're on in Europe.
Life is bittersweet in the way that you always pine for the future AND the past – at the same time. It's confusing and amazing. Thanks for sharing this personal post!
i just googled 'life of chartings' because i thought "i wonder if they've had their baby yet…"
this is what happens when you start law school. you don't really when 7 weeks passes. congrats!
love this! made me cry! you're such a sweet momma! love you!